i was really nervous for the workout today because i haven't run "fast" in a while, and i mean....8 months. it was very challenging not only physically, but more mentally than i had expected.
we ran 1000, 3 mi, 1000. i didn't have a time-goal on my sheet so i was just supposed to GO but still stay RELAXED. and GO/staying RELAXED i went with nothing in my head except for the words: "run as if you are running for Christ." which meant, never giving up, never quitting, never complaining, being thankful that i can run even one step without pain (discomfort is expected, and discomfort i had, but pain....no where!)
here are my splits:
3 mi break down
1mi-5:57 (slight downhill)
2mi-6:10 (major uphill, 300m, but didn't affect too bad, with slight downhill)
3mi-6:12 (same major uphill, but felt it much more this time, not much downhill this time)
(6:06 average, i clocked myself at 18:19)
1000m-3:29 -->felt very awesome and my legs felt loose (last 100m i raced coach franks, he beat me at the line....ugh)
i am so thankful that i can run for the glory of God in strengths and in weakness. even though i am no where close to where i once was, i know that my attitude is being used by the Lord to impact people on the team. one thing Loren has challenged me in is seeing that my purpose on the team is a mission field to spread the love of Christ and promise of God, not just an opportunity to run and do what i love.
i am very pleased with how things are going right now, but im not letting my running dictate my mood one way or the next. i am really trying not to let it dominate me and become my god this go-around. it has been a true challenge since i have been back at practice to find balance between all the things i want to do. since i now have to commit 3 hours a day to running (which means i loose the 3 hours of personal time i used to have for 7 months) i am forced to squeeze in everything here and there, and sometimes i feel so exhausted or overwhelmed that i am just unmotivated to do things.
there are plenty of injuries on our team and i hope that with my experience with my series of injuries that i can be a positive light to anyone struggling. there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but what you choose to be that light is key. i found hope in my God and turned away from finding my happiness is temporary running (my body will fade one day). instead, i now see that God's gifted me the ability to run in which i can choose to glorify him in or not. to not, would be sin. it's my choice. i hope that i can encourage people through my injury testimony to not put their hope in running, because (as i have experienced/witnessed first hand) it will only leave you aching for more in which you will never be able to satisfy. as soon as you heal, you want to race, you want to win....and then win again, and again...and test yourself even further...and then you get injured again.....and it is a vicious cycle that will never end.
anyway, i ate about 7 fiber-one pancakes, 2 bananas, and a glass of milk....yes, best dinner ever.
just prepping for PANCAKE PALOOOOOOOOOOOOZA!
running to the Light,