if you are thinking about transferring from the college/university you are currently at, i would encourage you to read the story of my freshman year before you make any decisions.
hasty decisions can end up in a waste.
i had a good freshman year of cross-country. i was successful and got all-sec freshman, my main goal.
however, i wasn't happy. i was gaining a lot of weight and had no control over myself. (completely different story but still important underlying factor) so i got really depressed. christmas break rolled around and i went home to indiana (the only place i wanted to be). i felt so much more alive at home in indiana. i loved every single second of being back in my hometown, especially to hang out/run with my dad. my dad trained me over christmas break, he is my best friend and one of the greatest coaches. it was really icy that winter and so i had to do all my workouts on an indoor track. i was having the training season of my life and actually PR-ing in practice. i did all the workouts in spikes because that is what my coach wanted me to.
it depressed me even more to not be able to practice yet being forced to run meets because i was not in good shape (even though i closed in a 5-min 1600 without training to get us all-sec indoor DMR) anyway, it's still not something im impressed with because i could have done better.
-so you see the downward spiral-
anyway, i got even more depressed once i was completely out of running.
i was frustrated and angry with every situation the was hurled at me that year. it was everyone else's fault but mine that i didn't run as fast as i did in high school, that i felt like i had no friends, that the coaches were unfair. i felt like no one was really listening to me. classes were FAR FAR FAR too easy for me and i had no challenge, no sense of purpose. i felt like my self-worth was diminishing by the second. i didn't amount to what i thought i should or had in the past. i let myself down, or so i thought. looking back my attitude on everything is the only thing that let me down
so i looked for the easiest way out. apparently mississippi state was the reason i was unhappy because in indiana, i NEVER EVER felt that way.
so obviously it HAD to be MSU. i didn't want to be here anymore. i spent every night on the phone with my mom, crying or yelling or fighting because i convinced myself i hated it here and everyone here were redneck retards who were dumber than a box of rocks. i convinced myself that i had no friends, i convinced myself that the coaches were unintelligent and didn't know how to coach, i convinced myself that i knew what was best for me, and i convinced myself that i would be happier at the place i really wanted to go, which was UK or Vandy.
but i was wrong, i was so very wrong about everything in every single aspect. i had friends. i had teammates who loved me for me (not because i could or couldn't run). i had coaches who believed in me. i belonged at mississippi state.
my mom wouldn't let me do anything. she told me i made a commitment to mississippi state university and that one year was not enough to decide if i liked something because it is such a transition. she was right, moms are ALWAYS right.
i just stuck it out, grudgingly, and finished classes and got back to indiana ASAP. as soon as i got to indiana, i felt a relief. my attitude was slowly changing.
i went into the summer eager to train now that i was healed from my foolish injury. i was determined to have a good cross season.
the longer i stayed in indiana, the more i longed to get back to mississippi. it was weird because here i was telling myself i hated everything about "stupid mississippi" but after i had a chance to rethink things and get away for a short period of time, i found myself hungry to get back to the south....because i truly missed the people, my teammates who are now more than teammates, they are my best friends.
hasty decisions makes such a waste.
if i would have acted on my emotions or what I THOUGHT was "best" for me at the time, i would be miserable and i would not be here in the beautiful south.
had i transferred to UK like I WANTED too, i would have felt like a freshman all over. thus, i would have been unhappy, all over....and in the exact same boat.
colleges aren't different.
college is what you make it.
and how you decide to treat people depicts how well you like school, usually.
have you seen the movie "son-in-law"? if you have you know what i am talking about, but there is a scene in the movie were Crawl talks to Becca saying that she can't even enjoy what she has in front of her in California because she hasn't even left the farm of South Dakota yet. it is a similar idea.
i'm not claiming to know how you feel about anyone at your school, or about running, or about the place you want to transfer, i just feel it is important you know my experience- my freshman year-because i couldn't imagine being anywhere else but here in Mississippi. my happiness is evident, i hope.
i thought it important for you to know this before you make a decision and look back regretting every second of it.
again, i know this may not change anything you think or feel, but at least you know my story and where i came from 2 years ago. i want to encourage you to just think about things deeply before you make decisions.
