change of attitude, change of heart

on my way back to starkville, i drove
the natchez trace

hello.

it's time to be completely honest with my training and my physical performance over the last few weeks. i have been an idiot running too hard for my easy runs (an honest mistake that i get caught up in, especially without a training partner). i am in the best shape (endurance wise) i have ever been in.  my legs are absolutely roasted and my mind is fried.  i get 20 minutes into a run and it feels as though i should be finishing my long run.  my IT bands are tight and my back is strained.  i am constantly dehydrated and no matter how much iron and b-12 i take, i feel lifeless.

over the last few weeks, i have struggled to retain my mileage.  granted i never will hit my targeted mileage because coach and i have agreed that taking one day off every week is in my best interest due to my injury-prone past.

week 1- 35/35
week 2- 40/40
week 3- 45/45
week 4- 40/40
great runs with the team. great pace, great attitude, great atmosphere.


week 5- 47/50 (sunday off) in texas, legs are rocked by texas hills and heat, pace is too fast
week 6- 38/55 (don't finish tempo, i ran 5 miles out and just walked back. mentally said, "screw this i'm done." came back and had a great long run.  took sunday and thursday off)
week 7- 40/60 (took tues and sun off because of travel, took friday off because my legs almost fell off.  had a great tempo and long run on the treadmill; was in disney world and nearly walked 5 miles a day.  walking made my legs ache more than a half-marathon, especially after my 12 mile long run on the treadmill)
week 8- 37/45 recovery week (had a great medium long trail run at Eagle Creek.  IT band started flaring up. took meds and had 2 massages.  took sunday off.)

all in all, i am not angry or even slightest bit upset that i haven't hit my mileage in the 2nd mesocycle.  i know my physical effort was more than 100% but my mental strength was half-assed (not even questionable).  my legs have never felt worse in my life than the second mesocycle.  even the recovery week didn't show my legs mercy.  this is my fault for running my recovery runs at 7:00/mi or faster.  i'm an idiot.  i didn't get to take all but 2 ice baths during the 2nd mesocycle when i was accustomed to taking aleast 4 ice baths a week during the 1st mesocycle.

as i head into the last mesocycle before the season starts, i have a few goals. 

1. hit my mileage wilth good, hard effot
2. ice bath! EVERYDAY!
3. battle through the pain
4. listen to my body
5. dope up on iron, intravenously if possible (haha, ok just kidding, but seriously)
6. make recovery days, recovery days.
7. relax and steady on my tempo runs
8. 5:30am, every morning
9. have fun.
10. smile.

my ice bath quickly turned bubbly!

i know this was a partly negative post, but i am having a change of attitude and a change of heart (all for the better) as i am back in starkville.  finally running with the girls again has made me realize that running is supposed to be enjoyable and my passion, not my job.  running with the girls again made me realize that i don't have to pound every run and that i can have a conversation while running and still get my mileage in (and let my legs recover, recover, recover!)  i know i am in great shape.  i could not be happier with how my legs are developing and the muscles that are popping out.  i feel like a runner and my body is letting me look like a beefed up, taller version of anna willard pierce. i like this.  i am me and i am ok with it.

"the will to win is worthless without the will to prepare."

cleaning out this apartment!
thanks for the memories, but you will not be missed.
on to a bigger, and better abode.

i am moving out of my apartment, purging old things, donating used items, and feeling really good about getting the trash and junk out of my life.  once i move into my new house, it will be the start of something new in my life. it's like a new hair cut, or new clothes, or a new kitchen knife, or new toothbrush.  it makes you feel great.  my new house shared with 3 of my teammates and then 20 more of my teammates as my neighbors. oh, oh august 10th you can't get here fast enough.

after my run this morning, there was a rainbow over the track.