can't sleep

caution: this is going to be a meaningless rant.

have you ever had an overflowing agenda that there is not even time to fit in five minutes of personal, alone time?
have you ever wanted to be alone yet completely surrounded by people, just to blend in, but really you want to stand out?
have you ever wanted to be held by someone who felt the same way about you as you feel about them?
have you ever wanted to go sky-diving with a faulty parachute?
have you ever not cared before?
have you ever been the admired one but hate yourself on the inside?
have you have killed a wild animal for the fun of it?
have you suppressed tears for so long that they just feel permanently gone?
have you want to turn back time and live in the past, like sort of a movie of all the good pieces pasted together played on a projector..on of those black and white films that constantly has breaks and flashes within the shot, but a continuous looping reel?
have you ever wanted to scream off of the top of a mountain in anger?
have you ever wanted to leave the world for a week, to see who noticed, to see who missed you, to see what you missed, to see who you missed, to see what has changed, to see if you care enough to stay?
have you ever wondered if the person you are meant to be with has already come into your life?
have you ever wondered if you have been in the same place and the same time in your past, that you will eventually be in a different same place and the same time with that same person?
have you ever wondered if change was permanent or just a succession of individual changes that reflect a gargantuan change over time?
have you ever wondered why you believe the things you believe?
have you ever taken a minute to thank your parents for raising you and instilling proper discipline as a child?
have you ever noticed stamp prices keep rising?
have you thought about tomorrow's agenda and what it holds?
have you thought about the possibility of tomorrow never coming?
have you tried to fix everything by yourself because you are too stubborn to ask for help, and too independent to know what good help is when is comes along?
have you ever wondered how much money it takes to survive on a daily basis?
have you ever thought about not eating for a whole week just to see if you could do it?
have you have had an addiction?
have you ever loved someone and they didn't love you back?
have you ever been loved by someone and you just didn't love them back?
have you pondered how to make a wrong and right?
have you ever had to cut off your best friend because you thought it was negatively influencing you?
have you ever become friends with someone for ulterior motives?
have you ever planted your own garden?
have you ever realized that you are not alone in your struggles?

well, those are my thoughts......