Saturday, May 19, 2012

getting back into the swing of things

i love running.
i love mississippi state.
i love my coaches.
i love my team.
i love this place.

i know i have been missing in action this past semester, but i have just felt drained.  emotionally and physically.  i haven't felt like writing nor updating anyone on my running status, well because quite frankly, i have been very bitter.  i was bitter because, once again, i got injured.  however, it COULD have been avoided. i think that is what frustrates me the most.  it wasn't an overuse injury, it wasn't nagging, it wasn't an injury that would go away in a few weeks time.  no, call me a pansy, but it was a bone bruise.  a bone bruise from the steeple chase done at Ole Miss in the beginning of March and i am just now able to run again.

there were days through this injury that i would just cry.  thinking, "why me? why again?" i became angry at my coaches because i didn't think they paid enough attention to me.  i was injured, what did i expect?  their job is to COACH the athletes that can run, not to pour out their sympathy to me.  why did i think myself so important that i needed to be constantly catered!?  there were days i simply didn't feel like cross training, so i didn't.  there were days when all i wanted to do was bike until i couldn't walk, so i did. i grew a lot during this injury, as i do with all injuries.

i think the most important thing i got from this injury was confidence.  confidence that, like with every injury, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.  i would worry that i would never run again, that tomorrow wouldn't come, that i wouldn't be okay without running, that i would have pain forever.  but this injury, too, passed.  as they always do, just some quicker than others.

i like to think of running as a lover.  i love Running. i love how Running makes me feel, i love spending time with Running.  i get frustrated with Running, but i always return.  Running lets me down constantly, but Running is always there for me.  Running and i have our moments of success and we have had our fair share of trails.  but one thing is true, i am so very passionate about my relationship with Running.  we are one, and it will never be another way.

now, after two months of decent cross-training, i have finally started my journey to cross-country training.  though official practice doesn't start until june 5, i need to make sure i get quality miles in that way i can handle the (eventually) 60-65 miles a week that i will be running.

i tried to run monday, but came up short only with 15 minutes and lots of pain.  so i waited until thursday to jump back on the saddle.  not setting my expectations or hopes TOO high, i laced up and thought that if i could get 15 minutes without pain i would call it a day.  i ended up going 30 minutes without lasting pain.  friday, 30 minutes no pain.  saturday (today) i ran with the Boardtown Runners and i went 40 minutes.  i ran about 7 min pace with joe macgown for the first 20 minutes, but then i turned around while he continued on his 10 mile run.  our course was hilly, back country roads.  it was wonderful to be with a group of runners who merely love the pain of it all.  i can't wait until next saturday! joe, i'm bringing my A watch out!

so, this is my blog post in saying that i can't be more thrilled than i already am to be running again.  thank you for all your prayers over the last few weeks and concerns for me.  i truly covet your prayers.  my prayer is that i would run merely for the passion of running and not for my hunger of self-glorification or to fuel my pride.  i don't want running to be a finite idol as i have made it in the past.  i am running TO and FOR God.  this is a turning point in my running career, and i know i am about to do big things for the kingdom of God. thank you for standing by me through the good and the bad times running, i always appreciate your support, reader.

hail state,
noodle butt.

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