i'm feeling vulnerable. i'm feeling tired. i'm feeling alone. i'm feeling dehydrated. i'm feeling blah. but i'm not hating myself this time. i don't need your advice and i don't want your sympathy. the things i go through.
dear mia (whom i once considered my best friend),
after months apart, you waltz back in my life expecting me to take you back (for the umpteeth time). i fought your urges to hold back my hair in such a comforting, soothing manner. i fought back your force for so long until you burst through my lips, i spewed your name. after the tiresome struggle, i gave in to you. i took down my guard, i took down my shield and threw myself onto the tile for you. i let you have your way and eventually welcomed you back in my ceramic life. i found my self repulsed, and then i found my self relieved. i feel like a piece of me is restored and yet my heart shatters to even admit this.
i gave in to you darkness, my old friend. i am human and with that i fall down, but i will rise. i won't let you gain a grip on me this time.