Tuesday, February 9, 2010

at the mercy of others

having surgery isn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be. of course, i was concerned of pain and the possibility that it would not be successful; but, overall, i am experiencing a new kind of joy. i am forced to depend on others to get from point A to point B. i have an 8am on MWF and neither of my roommates have class till 10. it's interesting to go out on a limb and ask people for a ride here and there. mostly, people have been over generous and courteous and offered countless times to do things for me, fix dinner, or just come hang out. it has been really enjoyable seeing the kind side of people (not that people are not kind before, it's just a new aspect i never had to rely on)
i was being really negative the other night (after the colts lost, but i don't think that was the reason why) i think it was just because i was annoyed that i can't bend my leg yet. i can't walk normal, and i still have a certain swollen pain. when i sleep i have to sleep on my back with my leg elevated so i can't ever move. i mean, it's not terrible. but waking up in the middle of the night stinks because i always have to get up and that first rush of blood to my leg really hurts it. throughout the day i can feel my leg get tighter and tighter due to the blood pooling and not coming back up because my leg isn't elevated. i just get really cranky. i am trying to be positive through this whole situation.
i really appreciate everything everyone is doing for me. i can't explain how grateful i am. anytime anyone is in need of anything, i will make sure i always repay the favor. i know, now, firsthand how it feels to be broken, alone, completely dependent, and utterly helpless, and immobile. i think that is enough adjectives. ha.
but seriously, it's amazing how much i am learning about what people are and are not willing to do for you. and it's amazing how much i am learning about myself. i am growing. i can look back even days at a time now, and see myself progressing mentally, emotionally, and physically.

this really is a wonderful opportunity and i thank God every minute for this situation. how unfortunate it may be, i know more good is being planted in my heart than could have come from setting another personal best.

leaning on Christ alone,

1 comment:

  1. lean on me when youre not strong. ill be your friend; ill help you carry on. for, it wont be long til im gonna need somebody to lean on!